The World

Oh but how hollow I have seen myself
And the mirror deceives as it gleams my reflections off the walls

But it is only me.
It is only me.

Darling, what that I have past the time where I had once loved.
And in this I have landed somewhere far away
Far far into the beyonds of plains that your minds-eye could never go beyond.

I have seen it!
I have captured it…

But where do you sleep now?
Is it not in the same way as you have before?
But then why do I struggle?
Why do I pine for something that does not exist?

My dear, my dear,

But you see that I am who I have always been!
That much I have seen, that much I must see.
For I am the madman that stalks,
and never leaves

Gestalt

Walked into river
River much too cold

Cold is bad
made me think to want warmth.

Fire is warm
then hand get closer

Hot is bad
made me think no good at all.

Met a good man
he gave many gifts (wine and food)

Gifts are good
made me think to do the same.

I gave gifts (wine and food)
people angry, say I try to please too much

Gifts are bad
I will not give as much.

Good and evil
both the same

Will you dare, to make this claim?

The Cold

To all I can see
I am unclean
bathing in waters
I shall never leave

Let the cold waters
run through my soul
and find fire within
does it douse it out — no.

Moving on fire
walking on ice
The simplest bridge
towards passion and vice

Told me your hour
was still yet to come
what have we done
but squandered our lonely —
bear with the pain I see, the ocean waves will never cease
And here I know what’s in my soul
It’s nothing I will ever be

So broken and shattered
I’m waiting for you
So making it past me
Is something I knew

And what’s more for me, the evening of death
And where do we stand in loneliness.

Hm

Shine a light, my waking moment
Closing light, a dawning time.

In angels wings I rode to heaven
And in the battlefield, they stood and fought

My abandoned values, I watched as they starved themselves, maimed the others, spoke, and loved, and spilt their blood, as I left their lands, cast above.

Could I not see? Could I not but hear the muses sing? Oh but there are no muses, I have been deceived! Who called out that this is where the miracle speaks?

Who calls out? The air my dear. And I have left my values, fighting as I stare.

Goodbye

Her smile she speaks
and says that kindness above all is what she must preach

I look in her eyes and see no deceit
a lover I find
but not of mine.

I think of her feats,
they are not much to me,
but still I think of her
and think –that I should continue on with her despite my leave.

I consider.
I think.
I could leave with her –a message or link, a memento or way, for maybe someday!

Someday… I wish, but then what’s this burden I feel?
I consider her smile, I consider her pain,
and how inconsiderate if I were to tell her,
that maybe someday…

Maybe someday… would I create this way?
But then I’ve given us both the worst,
that I could not come to truly leave.

I look at her smile,
I think of what she speaks.

Above all be kind.
Goodbye for now.

And there is no deceit.
Goodbye I’m sure.

My lover she speaks,
and though I wish to hear,
and though I wish to see,
and though I wish to help,
and see the cheers and cries of triumph and defeat…

Though I wish that maybe someday…
Today I say Goodbye,

Goodbye I hope
Goodbye I stand
Goodbye and wish, that perhaps we’ll cross again.

For Those Who Would Spread Love

I profess, in you I see much to love! But this is not enough, you’re fearfulness shakes me up inside. Where love is pure yours is amuck!

There’s something there that shouldn’t be. What is it? Huh, do tell me dear –in your speech, you profess to me:

–‘Love I see! Is the most important thing. And to spread this gift, the only thing.

I stand above these sharks, who would hurt and follow –and my heart is weak, from anything too shallow.’

But dear, what is love? For doesn’t nature show the cruelest touch? A mother bird pushes her darlings from the nest –and die they might, but so they must fly!

‘It’s interesting you should say! But still I see kindliness –and is this not what we should all aspire to? Polite and curt?

There’s nothing worse than a man who makes a huge fuss –over what? Nothing! And they speak bad words, backstab, and hurt.

Isn’t it better, if we lived without hurt?’

But did you not just –fuss over this man? And did you just not betray, your hate for his kind?

Where is your love for him? That I should ask –because it seems that your love, is not as far as I thought.

‘No, you have me wrong! I only mean to say –that this is a part. In person I’d never, say any of these words.’

Your actions betray your self-contained world! That you should speak these words to me –behind the backs of these sorts of men.

And even worse that in person, you’d never let them know of your honest thoughts.

‘But do you mean to say that I’m petty too? I can’t see how that could be true! I’ve done nothing wrong –I’ve only said words.’

But precisely this –you’ve never done good. You’ve never accepted fear –you run from it too quickly to see what it’s trying to say. And if you did, you’d act –and follow a different path of pain.

But instead you hide, in love’s warm domain –and in its name you excuse yourself, from doing anything great.

A Warrior

My reason fails to grasp at the wings of understanding
it falls from heights and lands
and fears its descent.

But then the warrior never cared for reason.
He marks his path in solemn ways,
honors his error as hidden intent.

Come! I dare you to fare the worst! For the prince longs to see blood. The prince longs to be a warrior, and for what the warrior does, we can only attest to the finest matters of love and madness.

Thus with laughter we kill on the battlefield of sin.
The higher we aspire the more we crave to be cut down as a tree
“Hold sacred your highest hope.” –and love like the innocence of a child.
The Nature to be cruel whispers in my ear.
Thus the prince spoke to his lover for the first time.

For the warrior knows,
wishes to slay that which is inside and claim victory
and through his own victory, overcoming himself,
does he then see the true battle and peace of mind that says –war and courage have accomplished more than love of one’s neighbors.

Nietzsche

And suddenly my mind crashed from raging heights –into the present of now.

I speak! To that man, I laugh! For I do not honor him, thus I honor him. Thus I spite what he says! Thus I heard him best.

I cast his torch on the ground! And pick it up not as his, but as my own, lying on the floor. And for this he must surely weep –for no one man could have understood better, who would go on to destroy even that which he valued.

Into a bolder, newer future I say –for the rabble have picked up your words as a saint! And was this not precisely your greatest fear? That the people would deceive themselves again? That precisely, they would believe what you said, and in doing so, not understand?

What strength you had then! But lie in your grave! Time has past for you –so let me march where you have died; as now I use you, to overcome your truths that have become yet more lies.

Question

I am not a
Man
We’ve grown up tricked and wicked
To believe in love and flowers
Nicety, politeness
Heh
But I know
I know that such things do not exist
Inside everyone of us is a seed
And that seed would have itself grow
And grow
And shatter!
This facade of politeness that we see.
Look at all these people! With their casting shadows and smiles that lie!
I know what’s underneath
I know what lies they tell!
For I’ve seen the man inside
His wicked tortured
Lie
Wants to be sent to all the worst!
And may he rise through hell alone
His wicked evil cries
There’s something raw to this we hide
Are we not afraid
Of the beast that lives inside?