The World

Oh but how hollow I have seen myself
And the mirror deceives as it gleams my reflections off the walls

But it is only me.
It is only me.

Darling, what that I have past the time where I had once loved.
And in this I have landed somewhere far away
Far far into the beyonds of plains that your minds-eye could never go beyond.

I have seen it!
I have captured it…

But where do you sleep now?
Is it not in the same way as you have before?
But then why do I struggle?
Why do I pine for something that does not exist?

My dear, my dear,

But you see that I am who I have always been!
That much I have seen, that much I must see.
For I am the madman that stalks,
and never leaves

Gestalt

Walked into river
River much too cold

Cold is bad
made me think to want warmth.

Fire is warm
then hand get closer

Hot is bad
made me think no good at all.

Met a good man
he gave many gifts (wine and food)

Gifts are good
made me think to do the same.

I gave gifts (wine and food)
people angry, say I try to please too much

Gifts are bad
I will not give as much.

Good and evil
both the same

Will you dare, to make this claim?

Mother’s Bones

For two or four nights I walked alone
And in my walking I carried my mother’s bones.
She had passed away centuries ago,
But in our day and age
These were some lovely bones

I walked across mountains
But never seas
I trampled over vegetation
But never good mead

And where there was good rest, I asked for it
And the people they always, complimented my good bones.

Yes! I proclaimed, these were the finest bones a man has ever seen
Porcelain in quality, just a lovely sight for
Me.

But two nights past and I felt that I had come a long way
I dropped my mother’s bones and left for some other day.

The Cold

To all I can see
I am unclean
bathing in waters
I shall never leave

Let the cold waters
run through my soul
and find fire within
does it douse it out — no.

Moving on fire
walking on ice
The simplest bridge
towards passion and vice

Told me your hour
was still yet to come
what have we done
but squandered our lonely —
bear with the pain I see, the ocean waves will never cease
And here I know what’s in my soul
It’s nothing I will ever be

So broken and shattered
I’m waiting for you
So making it past me
Is something I knew

And what’s more for me, the evening of death
And where do we stand in loneliness.

Hm

Shine a light, my waking moment
Closing light, a dawning time.

In angels wings I rode to heaven
And in the battlefield, they stood and fought

My abandoned values, I watched as they starved themselves, maimed the others, spoke, and loved, and spilt their blood, as I left their lands, cast above.

Could I not see? Could I not but hear the muses sing? Oh but there are no muses, I have been deceived! Who called out that this is where the miracle speaks?

Who calls out? The air my dear. And I have left my values, fighting as I stare.

Goodbye

Her smile she speaks
and says that kindness above all is what she must preach

I look in her eyes and see no deceit
a lover I find
but not of mine.

I think of her feats,
they are not much to me,
but still I think of her
and think –that I should continue on with her despite my leave.

I consider.
I think.
I could leave with her –a message or link, a memento or way, for maybe someday!

Someday… I wish, but then what’s this burden I feel?
I consider her smile, I consider her pain,
and how inconsiderate if I were to tell her,
that maybe someday…

Maybe someday… would I create this way?
But then I’ve given us both the worst,
that I could not come to truly leave.

I look at her smile,
I think of what she speaks.

Above all be kind.
Goodbye for now.

And there is no deceit.
Goodbye I’m sure.

My lover she speaks,
and though I wish to hear,
and though I wish to see,
and though I wish to help,
and see the cheers and cries of triumph and defeat…

Though I wish that maybe someday…
Today I say Goodbye,

Goodbye I hope
Goodbye I stand
Goodbye and wish, that perhaps we’ll cross again.

~

The human longs to be lifted. Away! Away from today!
And should we succumb to the fire and flame?
Should we forget the loneliness of our days?

Oh, but I have dreamed! And these dreams I’ve harbored and beckoned to stay amongst my loneliest of company, that they should spread their wings and fly away as I watched. Yes, as I gave rise to my dreams, that they may carry me beyond me.

How I wished for that starry night, that would shine for me the last breath of life,

But make no mistake! As my cries and pains, they are nothing! They are nothing! In exchange,

to see you run away. That I could be left without a heart, but that now, I could see it beating to a drummer that plays another’s part.

So come with me, one last time, to happy meadows, abandoned churches, lost remnants of the worthless begging,

that you’ve left me with.

My dreams. my dreams. That you may escape from me.

Away with you! I turn to leave, and should you stay –I know you will, this much is my happiness, tears belonging too.

Thank you whom –my dreams, I leave for you.

A Conversation with my Heart

–“Message her darling, it’s someone that you care about.”

Me: “But I’m quite concerned and scared.”

–“What for? Does the world revolve around pain?”

Me: “No, but lately I’ve been used to this Aloneness state.”

–“But darling! You can’t conjure up random friends such as me to protect your face! I too am just a figment of your brain.”

Me: “Comfort… is that still what I seek?”

–“I don’t see why you shouldn’t take a break…”

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A Conversation with my Soul

Me: “That I would be brave enough to say these things, tell me, is it in my nature?”

–“Should it be in your nature?”

Me: “That I was hoping you would tell me. I fell upon a dream yesterday that reminded me of the outcasts of yesteryears. That I would be condemned to insanity, isn’t that everyone’s greatest fear?

I speak to myself, but have no where to turn, who would dare enlighten me now? Is that not your final task?”

–“That you should seek your own enlightenment, this seems unenlightened to me.”

Me: “But I cast myself in doubt! Do you see how the people run? They can’t stomach me, or I have no ways to judge stomaching!

That I should speak to a wall would fare better for everyone! But then, how could I be so selfish as to speak to a wall!

Damned! I was damned upon birth! And in the end, I cannot even stomach myself!”

–“You laugh.”

Me: “If only underneath. If only under you my soul!

Do you pity me? But at once I see that you don’t. I fear the people –should I fear myself? Do I have no grounds to believe in anything else?

You’ve caught me spirit! I’ve no where to hide. But then why do you insist, to keep shining light? Does the night not ask for a chance? So that it too may dance?

I heard my shadow the other day. It would have me be gay!

But no, I live in nowadays, this language can’t stay. Too many books and hollow poems, have ruined my brain! That I could not shut off abnormality in speed, I’ve gone to love this me. But is this not the most foolish me, I’ve come to see?”

–“Then I would say you’re free.”

Me: “From who or what do you mean?”

–“…”

Me: “I see. Then I’m finally Alone and free.”