–“Message her darling, it’s someone that you care about.”
Me: “But I’m quite concerned and scared.”
–“What for? Does the world revolve around pain?”
Me: “No, but lately I’ve been used to this Aloneness state.”
–“But darling! You can’t conjure up random friends such as me to protect your face! I too am just a figment of your brain.”
Me: “Comfort… is that still what I seek?”
–“I don’t see why you shouldn’t take a break…”
Me: “I can’t! The people they need to see! That this world is caught in ashes, and poorness wreathed in peace!
How can they not see! Does their conscience fail them still? I must be strong, to lead them somewhere safe!”
–“You pity them still, is that not your mistake? And the people, will they listen, to a heretical who’s lost all faith?”
Me: “But you are not my soul! Do not speak of these things called faith! I’ve already rescinded you, I carry my own fate instead.
I move about with energy! The people shy away! That they should be amazed, at my differentness everyday!”
–“Will, you willingly push them away. This is not a leader, more so just a slave.”
Me: “Hah! To think I should have the heart to lead! We’re trapped in Petersburg, and still the people stay.
Do they not have any sense to escape? A dilligence I must take, to move the standers far away. Oh! But should I keep moving standers! Those people they will fade, that I should rally the greatest, so that we may make our escape.
But this leadership you speak of –does the leader not stay to fight? And is this not what happened? That I escaped and came back to stay?
I rode my horse out under all the blood and pain, made it to beautiful meadows and sunsets, I’d found peace within my day. But the people, they continue on and stay. Well! That I should go back! And sneak in once again!
I saw the meadows, pastures, dreams of a perfect day. But now the people, they know nothing of this day. It’s waiting! It’s waiting! I bring the message, my only fate!
And the people they should look –just the other way.”
–“Should you stay?”
Me: “My heart you jest to me! I’m already on my way. I’ve readied my horse, I’m ready to stay. It’s not my goal, to lead them away. We’ll all stay! This is our home and our embrace. What’s wrong with a few kicks? A bullet to the face!”
–“Have you been talking to your mind? That one’s not of our kind.”
Me: “But heart I hope you see –that you’ve already played your part. Was it not all the lofty ideals you ran to my mind? That it should have suffered under your disguise!
I beseech you! Leave us as we may! You’re nothing to my heart! The one that beats honestly, and suffers its due part.
You heart! You spin your webs and look to deceive! For the world is too graceless in your mind, that is why you deceive.
No more mirrors! This pasture I now leave. But thank you still, I leave you to your peace.”
Thus the heart was silenced, and I galloped away to Petersburg, without a horse, but on my feet.