We Continue

The same song plays on repeat. Anyone looking in would confess to a man gone crazy. No sane person listens to the same song 29 times over by choice. That would be called a questionable decision. One that I made, and in hindsight probably would regret if I ever truly looked in hindsight. The truth is looking at the past was never a way of learning from past mistakes. What does the past mean to me anyways? Most of us just do and think things for the hell of it. It doesn’t make those thoughts and actions any less real, but surely the rationale behind it is not as rational as we’d like to believe. Actions happen and thoughts flow and at the end of the day we’re left scratching each others backs because we all share in the same cause: insanity of the finest degree. Hi, nice to meet you, my name is Will.

I recall a day when I’d never think twice of this bullshit. Days of innocence you could say. I like to pretend those were my glory days. Days that were really no more eventful then the future days I’ve had, but boy did I have a sense of life. Not a worry on my shoulders, or rather, every worry was so quickly forgotten it never amounted to much. A dream life. No one would want to live that way though, of lies, of naive joy. Yet only a human could think that way. Give me the truth we say, and when we’re met with it we run and pout more than ever. You’re kidding right? No other animal would a give a damn, every day is a party and we have much to learn the squirrels say.

I met her and that was it. Like most girls she drifted in and out of my life pretty quickly. Five years. Quick as can be. And like most times I felt as if I had been left with nothing. It’s like coming to Christmas with just an empty box. Use your imagination you say, but the looks of despair around you say more. Its just not enough. Nothing is going to fill in the emptiness of that box, its too real. So I let the same song repeat: 29, 30, 31…

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